opinion vs judgement

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I like to think that as I've grown older and (hopefully) matured, I've become less judgemental and more accepting. It's clear to me now that the unnecessary judgements I used to pass on others were mostly born out of insecurity and low self-esteem, that I had disguised as simply being strong opinions. It's easy to step over that line.

The thing is, I wholly believe that having opinions, especially strong ones, is something essential. To stay true to our own beliefs, the way we want to live, the things we are passionate about - those should never be taken away from us and we shouldn't feel the need to bend and mould to the opinions of others. It only leaves a bad taste in my mouth when cutting remarks are uttered without really acknowledging whether it's a constructive point of view, or whether it's just a quick act of putting someone down for their own choices/beliefs/opinions. It's common knowledge that we are all different, we all dream our own goals and have our own values, and as long as whatever they are aren't a source of harm or detrimental to others, shouldn't they be accepted for what they are?

I don't claim to be innocent of this - of course I find myself letting words out sometimes before I realise my intention. And I also worry about the opposite, that in my effort to be the least judgemental that I can be, I could be putting my own values and morals aside to try and understand those of others.

This doesn't stem from any one conversation or myself feeling judged - it's just something I've noticed and am pondering about lately. I suppose it's always a work in progress.

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the happy list :: june 2014

all photos from my Instagram!

I thought that I'd try and start a little monthly series, where I share a few of my favourite things from the past month. Ready?

Read: The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes, reviewed here. 

Watched: More football than I've watched in the last 4 years. Always the way with me - not in the least interested in football, and then when the World Cup comes around I'm like a possessed fanatic. Of course I've also been following Wimbledon too, but that's every year without fail. I used to live in Wimbledon and went to the tournament several times when I lived close by - I'm determined to go next year!

Ate: Polpo. Favourite meal out this month.

Clicked: Kelven's absolutely beautiful website/blog, Les Petites Choses. I think I discovered his site a while ago through a comment he left, and it is just full of the most exquisite photos. He has a travelog and foodielog, and you're bound to find something you love in his posts. I find myself just perusing through the archives and wishing I could take photography lessons from him. Please have a look!

Listened: Coldplay's A Sky Full of Stars. I'm quite enjoying the whole album, actually.

Wore: My navy blue Zara mini city bag. For a faux-leather bag, it looks and feels a lot more expensive that it is and it holds just the right amount so I don't overstuff it with crap! If I could justify it, I would snap up the red version in a heartbeat, and the slightly different black one is beautiful too. 

Visited: Geneva, Switzerland. It was technically a working trip, but I stayed in a beautiful home with lovely people and was taken on a quick drive to Lake Geneva and a nearby market too. 

Ran: 83.1 kilometres. I ran 10K for the first time at the beginning of June, and did another one later on in the month, which made me very happy! I'm now trying to improve my time and still build up my endurance.

Cooked: Ok, so it's not really cooking, but those peanut butter cups need to be made again and soon.  

Celebrated: The engagement of C & J, who I've mentioned multiple times on this blog! They are two of our closest friends and I really couldn't be happier for them. Two of my best girlfriends are now engaged - fun times ahead!

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friendship

I have three very close girlfriends, two of whom I went to school with and have been friends with since I was 14. Us three have been through a lot together (one of them was my roommate in boarding school for over 4 years), we've had our ups and downs, but we've grown up through all of that as a simultaneously fragile and strong unit. And a few days ago saw us sitting on the Southbank, celebrating the engagement of S, such an exciting and happy time.

One of the best things I have in this life are true, loyal, honest and steadfast friendships. Like all good things, they require work, they go through rough patches and they can be complicated. My friends are interesting, opinionated, intelligent, sincere and challenging. And that's what makes me so, incredibly lucky to have what I have - I don't know how I would go through life without them.

Tell me the most important thing you look for in a friendship. We could all learn something.

on success

What does it mean to be "successful"? Is it entering a certain income bracket? Lining up your accolades on the mantlepiece? Being especially good at one thing, or very good at many?

I've always been ambitious, someone who wanted to be the best at whatever they did. When I was younger and did ballet (which I adored), one day my teacher gave pointe shoes to everyone in the class but me. She later explained to my mum that my feet and legs were not strong enough yet, but at the time, I remember feeling the wind knocked out of me with such a sense of failure and disappointment.

The thing is, those moments never get easier. Those moments you define yourself as a failure, that just as you think you've climbed up and can see the top where the view promises to be all worth it, you lose your grip and fall and you lie there at the bottom, not knowing why you bothered in the first place.

But there is success in trying, and there is success in overcoming your fears, putting your pride on the line, in trusting yourself and pushing yourself. And there is certainly success in having no regrets because of the things you didn't do.

That's my idea of success, I think.

10 facts

Call me nosy, but I love reading "facts about me" posts from bloggers I like. I just love getting a little insight into someone's personality, one that is often hidden behind little glimpses on their blog/social media/comments... tell me I'm not alone?

The lovely and beautiful Marla recently tagged me with some fun questions (from which I've picked my favourites), so I thought it would be the perfect excuse to give back a little and present some facts about me (whether you're interested or not is another matter...!).

1. Do you have any siblings?
I have one younger sister, younger by 3 and a half years. Wiser than me by 3 and a half though, probably! Growing up, we fought a lot, but for the past near-decade we have barely argued and are very close. I subconsciously imagine my future children to be two girls, because that's what I grew up with and I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

2. What is your ideal location for your next vacation?
E and I have recently booked our Summer holiday - to Lake Como in Italy! Which is pretty much the perfect destination for us, as it includes beautiful views, the mountains, the waterfront, great food, and lots of different lakeside towns to explore. We will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary there, and I can't wait.

3. What is your favourite way to spend a Sunday?
First and foremost: I'll take any amount of sunshine in any way I can. A morning run, delicious and indulgent brunch and a little stroll around London city in the afternoon, followed by relaxing in our garden with a glass of wine in the evening... that would be pure bliss.

4. What is your favourite season and why?
Autumn. I'm an Autumn baby, the colours can't be beaten, it's not too hot but not too cold (mostly) and just beautiful and crisp and bittersweet. Plus, hiding behind massive scarves is the best.

5. If you could only have chocolate or bread for the next five years, which would you choose?
Damn you Marla! I think I would choose bread. I love chocolate with all my might, but I am much more of a savoury than a sweet person and I think I could just about survive 5 years without chocolate. I would feel bad for the people in my life though, dealing with a choco-less lunatic.

6. What's your favourite Disney song?
A Whole New World from Aladdin. This was probably the easiest question to answer...

7. Would you rather splurge on bags or shoes?
Most definitely bags. There are quite a few dream bags with ridonculous price tags that I could never actually imagine buying, but I appreciate their beauty nonetheless! My current designer crushes for bags are Mulberry and Prada.

8. If you could have a talent that you don't currently possess, what would it be?
Is it too late for me to be a ballerina? Probably. A talent I would love to have, is to be an author of a novel. I've always had a real passion for creative writing, and I have produced bits and pieces in the past that I have been proud of - but I honestly don't think I have the talent, patience or complete dedication to write and complete a book of my own. I never say never, but I think I will leave that up to those who really were born to do it.

9. What's your favourite thing about your blog?
At the risk of sounding a bit up myself, I just like the content I post. Not because I think it's anything groundbreaking or special, but just for my own sake, I like having the documentation of things I've done, books I've read, food I've enjoyed - for me it's an online scrapbook and I genuinely enjoy remembering the little things. Equally as much though, I love the interaction I have with fellow bloggers and readers in the comments and on social media - it's a lot of fun and often insightful.

10. What is your favourite form of social media?
I think I've mentioned it before, but definitely Instagram. I love looking at other people's photos, liking and commenting on them, and just seeing what the rest of the world is up to through the camera lens.

Speaking of which, all the photos in this post are from my Instagram feed (@MihoWTW), which you can follow here if you want to!

time

On a personal note, today is a day of remembrance.

On a universal note -

(via)

Don't leave important things unsaid.

an intercultural marriage

The other day, my girlfriends and I were discussing what eating habits we had acquired from being with our significant others (these three girls are Irish, English and Canadian, with English, Canadian and French men). "He's made me eat more cheese, and he eats more chocolate because of me", type of thing. It was pretty funny to realise how much we all have in common on that front!

It in turn made me think about the differences E and I have when it comes to the little things, because of our different nationalities and backgrounds. Although I consider myself very "Europeanised" due to spending most of my life here, I still have strong roots to where I come from, and sometimes those differences are serious hurdles that you have to work through, and other times they are just funny little things that remind you of the different cultures that we were born into. (Me Japan, E France.)

Here are some of the smaller things I've learnt that set E and I apart*-

1. Mealtimes
Like actual times when you would eat meals. In Japan, people tend to eat on the early side for their meals - lunchtime at midday or half past, dinner at 7, or 7:30 at the latest. At least, this is the case with most Japanese people that I know. E says he was shocked when he first came to England, and found out that people eat dinner earlier than 9pm. For the French, it's lunch at 2 and dinner at 9-10pm. The two of us are early rather than late eaters most of the time, but when we go to France, dinner at 10pm is the absolute norm. I still find it hard to get used to!

2. Greeting people
Everyone knows about the whole kissing hoopla that happens when you meet French people. Is it going to be 1 kiss? Definitely not. 2? Most likely. Sometimes it's 3 though, and that really throws me off the loop. It's really just awkward. Now the Japanese - we go to the other extreme end of the spectrum. We bow when we meet people, and there is absolutely no touching involved. Even hugging between friends is not as common, and that I have always found foreign. I hug the life out of my friends, I hug E if we meet up somewhere - hugging is just a good medium, right?

3. Cheese
This is a no-brainer. There is absolutely zero cheese involved in traditional Japanese cooking, and even our western dishes only require a small quantity on occasion. To the French, cheese and wine are like a whole other religion. When I was in France over Christmas, we ate every day with our lovely friends, one of whom was American. She ate everything, and liked everything, but by the 5th day of eating cheese at every single meal she did utter the words, "Wow, more cheese?", and I sympathised big time. I love it, but I came home craving noodles. Asian food will always be my favourite, and French will always be E's. It's a good thing we love each other's favourites, and that we come from real foodie cultures.

4. PDA
Otherwise known at Public Displays of Affection. In Japan, you will probably never see people kissing in public, not even on the cheek. I mean, hugging is already rare - there's no smooching to be seen there! Couples holding hands is pretty much as far as it goes. Even though I was brought up here in England, I still have a bit of that reserve in me, and while E is happy enough to be affectionate in any situation, I am slightly apprehensive of being "lovey dovey", especially in front of close friends rather than strangers, funnily enough. Then again, I don't think I would be happy if he never wanted to show a little affection regardless of where we were, so I'm a bit high maintenance really!

Of course, you don't have to come from different countries to have differences in opinions, habits or traditions - I'd love to hear more stories like these.


*obviously these are generalisations based on my own experiences and our personal differences, I mean no offence to anyone!

birthday boy

This is one of E's favourite photos of us, taken in Santorini in the summer of 2012 and is used as his screensaver, so I thought this would be fitting…

Because today is the his big three-oh birthday!

He has left his twenties behind him with gusto, cooking a truly epic dinner with plenty of fun and laughter. I think being 30 will suit him just fine - in any case, men always remain boys deep (or not so deep) down whatever age they are, am I right?

Three facts about E:

1. He's a movie buff. Far too many times, he would discover that I haven't watched this classic or that classic, stare aghast and outraged at me, then make me watch it that very evening. 

2. He loves "dad jokes" - you know them, the old school not funny ones that are funny because they are so not. The pun/play on words ones being his favourite. He never ceases to entertain.

3. It's his dream to go to space. He says that if he wasn't in his current profession, he would have wanted to work for NASA. After watching Gravity, I'm not so sure I want this dream to become a reality!

E, you are wonderfully positive, determined and dedicated, and you always make me laugh. I know you'll rock your thirties - happy birthday!

language

Although I didn't set out at the beginning of this year with any real resolutions, one of my longterm goals is to work on my Japanese, and to improve my French.

When I moved to the UK aged 9, I spoke next to zero English. Thanks to very patient and kind teachers and friends (and my young, sponge-like brain), I became 100% fluent in about two years.

Along with that, my Japanese got lost. I speak it, but reading and writing is a huge struggle and I have been wanting to rectify that for a long time. It's just one of those things that always got put on the back burner, with other, more pressing matters taking priority.

Which sounds silly, because what is more pressing than being able to read and write your mother tongue (I consider it my mother tongue, but not my first language)? It is definitely something I need to make time for this year.

As for French, I really should be better at it, considering I studied it at school for 7 years. My (somewhat feeble) excuse, is that whilst living in Austria for three years to complete my masters degree, I had to learn a basic level of German, and that pushed the French out of my brain. There's only so much space in there, you know?

Wrong. There is enough brain to go round and anyway, it's not even as though I learnt a huge amount of German (my uni was so international that everyone ended up speaking English). I could understand and speak very simple conversations, follow my lessons and know the basic language to work in a little shop once a week. I hope to retain at least what little I learnt.

So, French. I understand about 70 per cent of what is being said, provided they are not talking about anything too intellectual. I don't speak it well, at all. I can listen to people talking in French and catch enough words to get the gist of the conversation, but I can't find the words myself to join in.

I have always loved the language, and being married to a Frenchman really gives me no excuse to avoid learning it properly, once and for all. I think I'm incredibly lucky to be exposed to different cultures and languages, so I need to make the most of what I'm given.

Any languages you're working on right now?

classical music

I don't divulge much about what I do as a job/jobs or about my education on this blog. And I plan to keep it that way; it's simply a place I document the little things, not where I talk about my career aspirations or professional life.

However, one of my young piano students said something yesterday that really made me long to ask one simple question on here, reaching out to whoever is reading.

So, a young 11 year old girl said to me today (I honestly still cannot fathom how a person can be born in the year of 20-something. Mind boggling.) -

"I listen to classical music at home sometimes."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Yeah, because I want to be a surgeon one day, and all the best surgeons in the world listen to classical music when they're doing an operation. It's supposed to be good for your brain."

It made me chuckle. But, it also made me incredibly happy that there was at least a reason for her to want to listen to classical music.

It is and has always been a huge part of my life. And we have been told again and again, it's a dying art, young people don't bother going to concerts, they're not interested, etc. etc. and truly, I don't dismiss those comments. What teenager would choose a Beethoven symphony over a Taylor Swift/One Direction concert? Besides, it's played in some London tube stations to calm the rowdy youths and drunks and whatnot - hardly building itself an appealing reputation for the 21st century babies.

So really, my question out of pure curiosity is this: do you listen to classical music? Did you/do you learn an instrument? How do you perceive the particular genre?

two thousand and fourteen

Although 2013 was a great year in many ways - hopping on big milestones like graduating with my Masters degree and getting married - I am not all that sad to see it end. It has seen me through the worst of times and I am ready to let it go and to move onwards and upwards.

I did my birthday resolutions not so long ago that still stand, but my one wish for the new year is good health for all my loved ones. It's something we so easily take for granted, and yet it can be taken away from us in an instant.

On a lighter note, fun things I am looking forward to include the Winter Olympics (I'm a huge fan of figure skating), attending a few weddings (my first ones aside from my own since I was very young), and hopefully travelling to see people I miss and places I want to discover.

Happy new year, and thank you so much for welcoming 2014 with me!

goodbye baros

It's time for my last post about Baros, and it's like having to say goodbye all over again! 

These are some of my favourite photos from our time in the Maldives, particularly the sunsets and the unbelievable view of the horizon that simply stuns you. 

You can see from our relaxed, smiling faces (well, E is not the most smiley person in front of a camera but trust me, he was very happy) just how much we loved our time there. Although we loved Baros, there are also many other islands to choose from in the Maldives and I cannot recommend it enough. 

It's definitely one to put on your Bucket List - I'm not sure we can cross it off from ours until we go at least one more time!

What a way to wrap up the year.

festive aix-en-provence

I am quite lucky that my husband's hometown is such a charming one. I never tire from meandering through the narrow streets lined with little boutiques and bakeries, and the main street Cours Mirabeau (nicknamed the Champs-Elysées of the south) looks especially beautiful, all lit up and bustling with people.

We ate a crêpe with lashings of nutella (what else) and looked at the Christmas stalls, and just as it started getting dark we took away slices of doughy, cheesy pizza and enjoyed a quiet night in before the festivities started to get underway.

As for Christmas itself, we've had wonderful days of celebration including a big carol singing party where both E and I played the piano for the singalong, a murder mystery dinner complete with delicious Raclette, and plenty of food, wine and merriment on Christmas eve and day. It's been a very special one, and I hope yours was too.