I like to think that as I've grown older and (hopefully) matured, I've become less judgemental and more accepting. It's clear to me now that the unnecessary judgements I used to pass on others were mostly born out of insecurity and low self-esteem, that I had disguised as simply being strong opinions. It's easy to step over that line.
The thing is, I wholly believe that having opinions, especially strong ones, is something essential. To stay true to our own beliefs, the way we want to live, the things we are passionate about - those should never be taken away from us and we shouldn't feel the need to bend and mould to the opinions of others. It only leaves a bad taste in my mouth when cutting remarks are uttered without really acknowledging whether it's a constructive point of view, or whether it's just a quick act of putting someone down for their own choices/beliefs/opinions. It's common knowledge that we are all different, we all dream our own goals and have our own values, and as long as whatever they are aren't a source of harm or detrimental to others, shouldn't they be accepted for what they are?
I don't claim to be innocent of this - of course I find myself letting words out sometimes before I realise my intention. And I also worry about the opposite, that in my effort to be the least judgemental that I can be, I could be putting my own values and morals aside to try and understand those of others.
This doesn't stem from any one conversation or myself feeling judged - it's just something I've noticed and am pondering about lately. I suppose it's always a work in progress.
Great advice!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely been feeling this lately - sometimes it's just way too easy to say something without thinking about it. As you say, 100% agree with you on strong opinions (besides how boring would life be?), but we need to think about where those opinions come from. Is it from a legitimate place of balance? Or is it a snap judgement? Something I do all to readily sometimes.
I oddly enough thinking blogging has made me think a lot more on this, as I've read posts about issues I would normally have an immediate and immovable opinion on. But reading other opinions and thoughts and experiences have really taught me to seek those kinds of things about before passing judgement.
Besides, I feel like I'd need this kindness too on a lot of things I do! :-)
Miho, I totally agree with you here. It's good to believe in your own
ReplyDeletepoint of view, but also learn to accept from other peoples opinions
as well. Xx
i totally agree with you. i was actually having a conversation with someone who just had different values than me and i kept trying to end the conversation as well we can agree to disagree but he kept on pushing his opinion as the "last word". ugh.
ReplyDeleteI love this. I think I have the opposite problem as you in that I've always been a bit of a pushover and I am HORRIBLE at voicing my opinions even when my beliefs are being attacked...I'm just a person that avoids confrontation at all costs I guess. I think it's definitely possible to disagree with what someone else is doing without being judge-y...like I really don't care if someone doesn't like tattoos or thinks they're trashy. I mean to each his own. I think it only becomes judgmental when you start actually putting that person down or you say mean things to their face. My policy is that if they aren't doing anything that is harmful to someone else, they don't need to hear my negative opinion about it. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have those opinions at all :]
ReplyDeleteThis comment seems really rambling to me...I hope it makes sense haha.
Anyways thanks for getting me thinking!
I'm probably one of the most shy & introverted people ever and some things used to really bother me because I never wanted to/felt confident enough offer my opinion as a counter argument. Thankfully as I've got older I've also become way more laid back and comfortable with knowing that everyone has their own opinion and it doesn't matter if I think they're wrong. It's okay to disagree and I'm learning a lot from others by trying to understand why they feel something so different to me at time. It's interesting you know. But if it's really negative stuff that isn't constructive at all, I often filter it out without really noticing. That's actually something I owe to blogging, people can be cruel but as long as I don't let it affect me it doesn't matter. I'm beginning to earn myself a Luna Lovegood nickname, and I'm okay with that because she's so unapologetically herself all the time and I like the idea of being a little like her. <3
ReplyDeleteJennie xo | sailorjennie.com