'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
Is where you go when you're alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?
{from Gabrielle Aplin - Home}
Our recent move has made me think about this even more than usual.
I have always struggled with this identity crisis. When I was 8 going on 9, our family of four moved from Tokyo to London. I knew next to no English, but I went straight into a normal English school, and since I was so young I became fluent with the language in about 2 years.
Since then, I've lived in England all my life, apart from spending 3 years studying for my Masters degree in Austria, which I finished just a few months ago.
The thing is, being brought up in a country that is not my own has always made me feel as though I have one foot in one place and one foot in another. I've never felt like I truly belonged to one country or one culture. When I visit Japan, I feel like a foreigner. When I am in England, I feel at home and like a native, but with a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that reminds me I am not.
I say this as though it's a disadvantage, and I absolutely don't believe that it is. I feel lucky and privileged and so thankful that this has been my path. It's just that sometimes, that comfort of being on your true home soil and the sense of belonging that you feel deep in your bones, it feels elusive and out of reach.
But I think that this is my chance to make my life my home.